Bacterial conjugation is an important evolutionary process that enables bacteria to acquire new genes, and to rapidly adapt to new environments. It is a major mechanism by which bacteria acquire resistance to antimicrobials and is therefore of significant concern to global health and wellbeing. Conjugation occurs via the unidirectional transfer of DNA from a donor cell to a recipient cell in a manner that is dependent upon cell-to-cell contact. Although the role of the donor cell in conjugation is well characterised, the function of the recipient remains unclear. Here, we examine how surface structures on the recipient cell modulate the conjugative transfer of a derivative of the broadhost range plasmid-RP4. Using a combination of electron and fluorescent microscopy, we show that recipient cell surface structures can block the transfer of DNA during conjugation despite intimate contact between the donor and recipient. Further, by transcriptomically profiling conjugation in the presence, or absence of these surface structures, we show that the expression of genes controlling conjugation on plasmid-RP4 is dependent upon the state of the recipient cell surface, suggesting that recipient dependent signalling occurs which triggers conjugation. Our findings indicate that the recipient cell has a more active role in conjugation than was previously thought and has implications for understanding the spread of AMR genes by conjugation.